Struggling Against Chaos

I came across this piece of advice today, “Accept chaos as a pre-existing condition, and avoid struggling against it.”

As executive assistants in real estate, we are going to experience chaos on a daily basis. There’s no getting around it.

The question is, are you going to let that chaos get the best of you emotionally?

You see, I think we believe that taking control of the admin side of the real estate business is our job. We believe that we should be able to control everything that comes our way. And that’s just not the case.

I ask my students as part of my Systems Success Course, “Which is easier to control, people or things?” In reality, that’s a trick question. Because we control none of it.

Control over anything outside of ourselves is impossible. I can’t control the weather. I can’t control our clients. I can’t control my team members. I can’t control my lead agent. And I can’t control a broken printer.

What I can do is choose how I’m going to respond.

Have you ever used the phrase, “He just makes me so angry!” I have. But it’s not true.

He said or did something, and I chose to get mad about it rather than to respond with love.

How does love respond? If you were in a loving mindset, how does that emotion show up for you?

It could be sympathy, empathy, compassion, understanding, accepting, curiosity, or humor.

You see, we believe that people and things should always act according to our plan. Our buyer agents should always turn in completed contracts. Our lead agents should be good leaders and lead by example. Our printers should always print on demand. Traffic should always flow smoothly. We should always feel good about our jobs.

But that’s not life. Life is messy and chaotic. It’s terrible and frightening. It’s also beautiful and loving.

If you find yourself suffering it’s because you’re struggling against the chaos. You’re trying to control it, to impose rules and limitations. You may as be trying to control a tornado. It’s just not going to happen.

Not only do you suffer emotionally, but you could begin suffering physically too. Headaches, body and joint aches, acne, and hair loss are all signs that you are stressing yourself out.

So what can you do? Welcome the chaos.

It’s probably not written in your job description, but maybe it should be: Accept that real estate is a sometimes chaotic business. Certain things are beyond your control. Do your best to handle every situation with grace and tact.

Chaos does not show up just to tick you off. It’s there to keep things interesting. It’s there to challenge you and your beliefs. It’s there to make you a better person. Why struggle against personal growth?

Accept the challenge of chaos and don’t let it get the best of you!



  1. Lorna

    What a great thing to share. I feel my admin team really needed this right now. Thank you!

    1. Elizabeth (Post author)

      My pleasure! Thanks for reading my blog!

  2. Becky Wood

    Wonderful article! This is the truth of life right here.

    1. Elizabeth (Post author)

      Thanks Becky!

  3. Tia

    I am loving this piece. I was recently hired as a Contract to Close Coordinator with zero Real Estate experience and coming into an “existing team” this blog is right on time for me.

    Thank you.


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