How to Unbunch Your Panties

I’ll admit it. Sometimes I get my panties in a bunch, my knickers in knot, my nose bent out of shape, up in arms, hopping mad.

But I’m not all that easily offended. So while I might roll my eyes at stuff I read on Facebook, I don’t have the same extreme reaction to those things that are different than what I believe.

No, for me, I get the panties-in-a-bunch feeling when things don’t go my way. You see, I set very high expectations for myself and for others. Inevitably, I or others fall short of those expectations and then the onslaught of panty-bunching begins.

So here’s how I gracefully and tactfully deal with this feeling:

  1. Throw a pen across the room.
  2. Wad up and tear paper in a frenzy.
  3. Beat up a stuffed animal while screaming, “Why can’t you just do it my way?!”
  4. Kick a file cabinet – hard.
  5. Take a deep breath and breathe out a long, slow sigh of disgust.
  6. Send my husband a Google Chat describing the offender, the wrongs they committed and the harsh punishment I believe they should receive.
  7. Interrupt my transaction coordinator, Courtney while she is working in order to ridicule the offender and then feel justified when she heartily agrees with me.
  8. If the offender is my boss, yell out, “Dammit Ron!”

Clearly, my choices for dealing with this are crude. Hey, I’m human. And in the moment, these choices make me feel better so I can move on.

But, is there a better way? Maybe some ideas that make me seem less like a sassy pants?

How to Unbunch Your Panties 1

Although she wan’t referring to me, I once heard Courtney say, “You can just get happy in the same pants you got mad in.” Whatever that means. But, let’s try it.

  1. Leave the room you got mad in. Go anywhere else: the next room, your car, out to lunch.
  2. Repeat silently to yourself, “I approve of myself,” over and over like a mantra. It sounds a bit woo woo, but I’ve tried this and it works. When I start with myself, I can transfer that feeling to others.
  3. Help someone else with a problem they are having. It’s not too hard to find someone who could use your help. Give some advice on Facebook, or walk down the hall of your office and find another assistant to ask what they are working on and if there is anything you can do to help.
  4. Watch Matt Bellassai Whine About It
  5. Hire someone to take on the parts of the job that drive you nuts. I hired Courtney as my transaction coordinator specifically for this reason. So thank you, Courtney! My panties are much less bunched because of you. (Man that sounds weird.)



Need to vent to someone who really gets you? Drop me a line: egilbert AT kw DOT com.


  1. Jillian

    Hahahahaha I love this post. Sums up some of my work days 🙂

    1. Elizabeth (Post author)


  2. Jessica

    A co worker once gave me a “dammit doll” and my life was instantly changed. Who knew smacking a little voodoo looking doll around would give me such pleasure! I look forward to your blogs and laugh at how much I relate to each one of them.

    1. Elizabeth (Post author)

      Yes Jessica! I’m trying to get Courtney to bring in a stuffed animal to beat up, but now I’m thinking I’ll have to get her a dammit doll!

  3. Nicole

    I have a sign above my desk that says:
    I am calm.
    I am joyful.
    I am patient.
    I trust in the Lord.

    I read that out loud when I get mad. I also try and think of what positive lesson I can learn or take from the frustrating situation.

    1. Elizabeth (Post author)

      I love the positive affirmations Nicole!


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