Take a look at this excerpt from What Are You Hungry For?: The Chopra Solution to Permanent Weight Loss, Well-Being, and Lightness of Soul by Deepak Chopra, MD. Here, he’s talking about how stress affects the body.
Do you see yourself or your lead agent in any of these statement?
You are creating unnecessary stress in the lives of others if you indulge in the following behaviors:
If you are demanding, critical, and perfectionist – the perfect recipe for stress.
You give erratic orders and are prone to unpredictable changes.
You show disrespect to other workers and/or their work.
You create an undignified work environment (e.g. a place where swearing, gossip, and sexual remarks are commonplace).
You don’t give other people their own space.
You pass your own workload to others just because you can.
You burden others with personal issues you should deal with yourself.
You criticize a subordinate in public.
You make personal attacks.
You can’t be trusted.
You indulge in casual betrayals.
You devalue another worker’s experience and knowledge.
These are more than bad behaviors. They trigger the stress response in other people, which is easily recognized, because they would trigger the same in you if you were on the receiving end. It’s a myth that a hard-boiled attitude, confrontational tactics, and constant pressure are good for productivity. The best work places give people space, encourage creativity, allow workers to define their own work hours, assign tasks according to a worker’s strengths, and create an atmosphere of general respect.
The size of stress may be subtle, but when you pay attention, they are unmistakable. People don’t look happy being under you. They avoid direct eye contact. They miss work or shirk during work hours. They seem nervous in your presence. The atmosphere grows quiet and tense when you enter a room or give orders. There is silent resistance to giving you what you ask for – you have to ask a second time, and even then there are delays. People under you make excuses, or else they have lost their motivation to perform. If you don’t identify with being in charge, maybe there’s someone in your life who makes you act in these ways.
Look, I hope that you are not in this position. But if you are, clearly this is a toxic workplace.
As a leader in the office, if you are guilty of these actions, you must take measures to stop them immediately. I can’t imagine that you would be employed for very long if you were acting this way.
If you see these behaviors in your lead agent, it is up to you to bring them to his attention if you ever expect to have personal peace at work. You might print out the excerpt above and highlight the ones that you see the most.
Then ask your lead agent, “If there was something that was causing me a great deal of stress, would you want to know what that is?”
Now give your agent the printout and tell him to read through it, noting the highlighted phrases. Once finished reading, it’s up to you to explain how each of those behaviors make you feel.
This is going to be one of the toughest conversations you’ve ever had. You will want to procrastinate it. You will try to justify it away by thinking that if you just gave it more time, your lead agent would come around and realize the mistake he is making on his own. You know that’s not going to happen right?
You have the right to a harmonious work environment. If you aren’t getting that, you can do your best to change it, or you can find someone who will provide it for you.
The choice is yours.
Have a question? Need to reach out? You can connect with me at egilbert@kw.com.
